Youth sports provide kids amazing opportunities. They face so many challenges like losing, clutch moments, and so much else that give kids experiences to grow and learn. However, it can be incredibly daunting for them. As a parent you want to support your kid through these experiences. You get to help your child navigate all of their failures and successes in sports. Your role in their journey of sports is to provide them the support they need to thrive. 

It’s always  important to remember you aren’t the coach, your role as a parent is to advocate for your child and support their time playing.  You are modelling healthy behavior for your kids This means showing respect to the coach. When you respect and listen to the coaches and put importance on what the coach is saying your kids will as well. This also means that you shouldn’t be trying to override what the coaches are saying. If you think there’s problems in what is being taught by the coaches, talk with them in a respectful and healthy way. It’s okay to disagree, but don’t undermine the coaches. 

Your role is to help your kid manage emotions, pressure, anxiety, and all the other feelings that come with playing. Sports can be stressful, your kids will look to you to help manage that stress. Validate their feelings and help your kids develop skills to manage their feelings. If your kid is upset about not having enough playing time you don’t want to get upset at the coach. Instead work with your kids to understand that decision and what they can do going forward. Positive and negative emotions are a part of sports, how we manage them becomes a defining factor in our success and enjoyment when playing. Helping your kids develop the necessary skills and tools to handle playing is key to their time playing.

As a parent it feels great to celebrate winning a big game, or having a clutch moment during a game. But, we want to remember to celebrate all successes, not just the big ones. It’s nice to be hyped for a win, but also remember to celebrate improvement in skills and mindset. Make succeeding at drills just as important as winning. Making practice important, and something to be proud of helps your kids learn and develop their skills a lot more than only focusing on winning. This also helps your kid become accountable for their experiences in their sport. When kids feel they have control over what is happening they will put more effort into the sport. 

 When your kid makes mistakes, which they eventually will, it is important you help them process those mistakes. One of the best ways to help them after mistakes and failures is to ask open-ended questions that are focused on reflection and forward thinking. Questions such as “Why do you think this happened”,“What do you want to do next time”. These questions help them think more deeply about what happened, and how they can work through the challenges they face. You want to avoid questions that assign blame or fault. Make sure to help them understand everyone, even the best make mistakes. It’s how we recover and learn from them that matters. Failing is inevitable in sports, helping them understand and move past those moments is what matters.

Sports are meant to be fun. Ultimately to create longevity in an activity, especially sports, we want to create a fun and engaging environment. This means not focusing on outcomes, instead focusing on the experiences themselves. You want to help your child develop their own love of the game. Talk to them about what they enjoy, and help them focus on those aspects. If they don’t enjoy core components of a sport, like practice, help them identify how to make it more fun or at least help them understand why it is important. We want kids to have intrinsic motivation to participate in sports. If they feel it’s an obligation or a duty they are going to be much less committed and engaged with the sport than if they do it because they love the game. 

Ultimately as a parent you can’t play the sport for your kids. Instead your job is to be there to support and encourage them. Help them learn how to be an athlete, not just how to handle the losses, the pressure, difficulties of playing, but also how to enjoy the game, celebrate winning and improve. Youth sports are amazing for kids, and as a parent you get to help them learn to love the game and compete.