When we compete we can have all kinds of goals and wants, but getting the win will always feel good. So a loss can make all the time spent training seem pointless. Losing can make even the most clutch moments and amazing outplays feel pointless, because ultimately you still have an L in the win/loss column.

So how do we make losing feel better. Perspective. Understanding what our long-term goals are, coming into the game with a clear game-plan and goals. We can look back and evaluate how we did according to the pre-game expectations than we can remove the win or loss from the discussion. “Did we play the game how we wanted to? Did we take the opportunities we thought were good?” Our answers to these questions then lead us to the next set, if we think we did follow our pre-game objectives we can re-evaluate them. “How did these goals help, or hinder us? How effective were we at following our game plan?”. If we feel like we failed, we can ask the same questions. “Why did we fail to achieve these objectives.”

The important part of these questions is they can be asked after a win or a loss. The loss stops being the important part, and instead we redefine success and failures based on our own metrics and ideas. Creating and following our own expectations allows us to take a step back from the score column and give us perspective on how we are really performing.